Did you read or hear the dialogue regarding the Kenneka Jenkins story? Mainly what she had on? What stood out to me the most were the comments on social media between boys, men and some women. Oh, she looked like she was there for a party. Why was she half naked? She was dressed like a hoe! Oh, the malarkey! *hmp eye roll*
Let me be clear; if at any moment you said any of the above mentioned regarding her dress attire, just know that it says more about you than her. Are we raising a society of entitled boys who become entitled men? I won’t speak on what you are not entitled to when it comes to being a predatory rapist, but here’s a few things you are: jail, a record; an ass whooping!
The rhetoric I’ve read and heard over the last few days regarding what a girl/ woman wears justifies unwanted advances or rape is disheartening and discouraging. So I put together nine (9) rules for my own sons and you feel free to share them with the boys and men in your life. Men are consistent and concise; and so are these rules:
Rule 1. No means NO.
Rule 2. THE FIRST NO IS ENOUGH!
Rule 3. Respect girls and women.
Rule 4. Maybe is NOT a yes, take it as a no! There is no gray area or in between.
Rule 5. If you have to question if it’s a no, then it’s a NO!
Rule 6. Despite how cute she says “no”, it’s not a yes. If she says it with a smile or frown it’s still a NO!
Rule 7. Do NOT follow her after she says no.
Rule 8. No matter what she is wearing, she still has the right to say NO! <Please refer to Rule #7>
Rule 9. Women are not bitches and/or hoes because they do not accept your advances. And if she is, so what, it’s still a NO!
The harsh reality is broken men were once broken boys – the only thing that changed were their ages. I’ve learned over the years: boys believe controlling another gives him power, a man realizes that true power is in controlling himself. Truth is the only person any of us are in control of is ourselves. When you can’t control what is going on around you, your power lies in what is going on within you. We all lose if our boys are not nurtured and taught at an early age that they are not entitled to a WOMAN. Love, respect and accountability goes a long way, Fellas!