ACTIONS > WORDS

You met “the perfect person”, can’t WAIT to tell everyone about it and bring him around to meet all your friends and family. He checks all the boxes off you’re “check list” and then a few extra. Life’s great again, things are new and exciting, fun, you’re “living life” again. Then one day everything gets pulled out from under you. “You’re so blind-sided by this all” you break up. Just like that again, another relationship has failed, another part of your heart is ripped out, and you just don’t understand why. 

Welp, I’m not here to tell you this is 100% why, nor am I an expert in this but could it be you? Could it be the “check list” that you have created for yourself that so many girls so desperately think they need? 

Step back and self-evaluate ladies and gentleman. Get your shit together, know what you want/need and don’t settle. Comes down to KNOW YOUR WORTH! Learn to finance yourself, learn to love yourself, learn to grow by yourself, and then start giving it to other people. Stop worrying about your age, and your friends, IT’S YOUR LIFE, not theirs. I get so angry when I try and help someone and that’s all they bring up or they say something that they saw on social media, or “that’s what’s supposed to happen when your over 30…” It’s YOUR LIFE, YOUR STORY, WRITE IT. 

I was blessed to all get out growing up looking back over my life thus far. My dad and mom didn’t have the perfect relationship, they bickered, they argued, they gave the “silence treatment” an occasional time or two, but at the end of the day, they NEVER went to bed mad at each other, they brought out the best in each other, they made a great team and conquered life together. Growing up with brothers, I was “daddy’s girl” I wanted to be JUST LIKE MY DAD. He was our protector, confidant, provider, and he is my hero. I would always think to myself I’m not a “girly girl” but I remember at a young age thinking I don’t know if someone like my dad exists, like he is ONE OF A KIND and how lucky my mom is. 

Fast forward few years to college, off on my own, conquering this huge ass world, meet a few people, met one guy “checked off 95% or more of the boxes” on my so-called check list. He’s met the family nothing exciting they love him just like I knew they would, then it came time to make a choice, follow him or live my life. He chose to move to pursue his dream and I could either “follow” and figure out when we got there or do what I chose and stayed living my life. That’s when I had my “AHHH HA” moment if you will. His ACTIONS spoke LOUDER than his words. 

 I get it’s easier to give advice then to truly listen, take it in and self-evaluate. But that night when we talked he told me I could come with if I wanted, if not we would have to go our separate ways… NOT ONCE did he ASK WHAT I WANTED, WHAT I WANTED TO DO WITH LIFE…  I had become an option at that point, and he became past tense. 

I tell a lot of people that story because sometimes the most difficult decisions you ever make are greatest rewards on the other side. I could have moved, had a “safe life” been a house mom (no offense to you ladies you kick ass and rock it daily) just wasn’t what I wanted, I didn’t want kids then we were all of 23 we still had our whole lives ahead of us. But having that moment and something clicking with me gave me more courage and confidence than EVER. 

That next morning, I woke up straightened my crown, looked in the mirror and told myself this is the first day of the rest of your life. I realized I was going to live MY LIFE FOR ME AND NO ONE ELSE. Adding another check box to my “list” NEVER AN OPTION TO THEM ALWAYS A PRIORITY. 

Then my fortune that day at lunch was my breaking point to say the least if I could have had a field to go run in like the Sound of Music cover I would have, haha. The fortune said, “To deserve the best, you have to be your best.” 

 I don’t put labels on things, I let them happen, I also have enough discipline to know I need to continue to grow every day. I was listening to a random late-night talk show on my way home from work the other morning, and he simply stated how so many people get jumbled up in people’s words and who they are they don’t want to step back and look at their actions, they don’t want to associate an action with that person because they can’t believe it. That has stuck in my mind for a solid two and a half weeks or more now. Because it’s so true. Ladies and gentleman, open your eyes, the truth is right in front of you... Ladies make them open the door for you, you better always sit in the front seat, you better always walk on the inside, you better always be their 2pm call and 2 am conversation in bed, and most importantly be their priority. DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS, DO NOT SETTLE. Nothing is more heartfelt to me than seeing genuinely happy relationships that I can tell she’s put first. Seeing that gives hope for things, give hope for how someone raises your daughter, and gives hope that social media will not be the end of the world. 

So, my advice to you ladies/gentlemen is this, instead of your “check list” for your significant other being tall, handsome, rich, nice, blah blah blah, how about it be about action, Holds door for you, walks closest to the street, opens car door for you, makes an effort, never makes you an option or second thought. You should never be in his rearview mirror! Straighten up your crown, put back those shoulders, and get out there and kick ass. 

Until next time –

Xoxo