SELF EMPOWERMENT
The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights. THAT’S the definition of EMPOWERMENT, a word SO many people (especially women) forget about until shit gets real in life.
I was mentally hyped to write this article after all the recent posts I saw of women on social media doing the #womensupportingwomen challenge. Then I quickly reminded myself everything opposite of this. I started questioning myself and some of these women I saw posting these. Why do these women need a “internet hashtag challenge” to post a picture of themselves? Why do they need the “approval or like” of one to feel good about themselves? Heck I was questioning even writing this blog, but it’s life. And in the spirit of why we started this blog site you have to be able to talk through shit, and sometimes the shit that’s the toughest to understand and talk about, is what makes us grow the most!
To all you women who might happen to stumble upon this post, I really hope you read it. I hope that you read the words and take them all in. Empower yourself first, THEN, those around you. You must empower yourself daily, you’re not being selfish, you’re not being self-absorbed, you need to be YOUR BEST TO GIVE YOUR BEST, otherwise why give? Girl TRUST me when I say this, MISERY LOVES COMPANY. My parents use to tell me this all the time, and now I completely understand it. When I started sitting back, watching, and observing, and learning that I learn more about some one’s true self this way then actually talking to them. Like my previous blog said actions speak louder than words. You don’t need everyone knowing your business, this is why they pry into your life because it’s miserable to them how you won’t tell them. Leave the social media alone, leave the gossip alone, focus on you and what you need.
Knowing your own self-worth is a HUGE self-empowerment move. Sometimes people laugh at me when I tell them that I am probably the most confident person they will meet. You might scratch your head and debate reading the rest of this after that. But just take a deep breath and keep reading.
One, know your self-worth. I know my own self-worth, I remind myself every day of my self-worth and I never question it. When I tell people that they either roll their eyes and say sure or they turn their head tilled a little raise an eyebrow and nod. Now think about it. I usually follow up questions when I ask people if they know their self-worth? Oh, so you’re saying that you Don’t deserve to live in a bigger or better house, or you don’t deserve to date someone nicer, smarter, sexier, etc? That’s all part of self-worth, setting the standard bar high as possible with being HAPPY (KEY WORD) with yourself. A lot of people had a fear of what if I am alone the rest of my life because I set the bar to high to date, well to me it’s better then settling or being treated like a sack of shit, or downgrading and being thrown through a ringer, but if that’s your self-worth then has at it. But I will laugh be there in a different spot in life when you’re done and are ready to learn more and have more self-respect for you and your self-worth.
I like to remind people and challenge people when they converse about this. I challenge you to this, listen to 2 or 3 sets of conversations, just sit in on them. First one, a conversation with people how your view yourself right now (your friends or family etc), second one, how you would like to be viewed, and third one if needed what you would like to end up at. Now in each of the conversations just listen to them, step back and really listen, listen to the context they talk about, what they talk about etc. I have a feeling your eyes will be opened more then you think!
Two, be honest with yourself. This is probably the most difficult for so many people. Heck we all struggle with it, there’s always a but, or what if, or a I will get to it. But when it comes down to empowering yourself every day and continuing to grow and empower yourself it’s a key component. You must remove yourself from toxic things, you have to be ok with not being liked by everyone, seeing that it’s for you… I PROMISE YOU. SOON AS YOU START DOING THIS YOUR CIRICLE WILL CUT DOWN... YOUR TRUE FRIENDS WILL BE STANDING THERE. They will be the ones cheering you on for the better helping you out. I often have to remind myself it’s not about who’s there when you are sad and need someone everyone is because they want to know your business, it’s about who is there when you’re winning and succeeding. Who’s really clapping for you. If the ones cheering for you as your succeeding tell you stuff along the way, listen, they have your best interest. Don’t make excuses, remove yourself from the situation look at the actions of it, they always speak the truth. Ladies, if he wants you he’s not going to give another man the opportunity to get with you.
Third, finance yourself. Part of empowerment is freedom and self-awareness. Stop relying on others or a significant other to pay for you. I’m not saying that he can’t pay for dinner or a movie, etc. But financing yourself, there isn’t much more sexiness for a woman to carry with her. Let him know you don’t need him for everything just certain things, you don’t need his pockets you need his attention, his brains, his heart. Sweetheart, any man can fuck you, feed you or buy you shit. When you take all that away from him, that’s when you find the real men. They ones after the crows feet by your eyes, or the lines around your mouth from laughing, or the crinkle in your forehead from years of stress… it means you have lived, your real. That’s what attracts a man worth keeping. You’re filling your heart with what you want not a lonely void instead.
Self-knowledge is empowerment. Making your next step your best step, setting small goals and achieving them, and remembering your self-worth is WAY higher then you know. Don’t ever settle for less then you deserve. Love yourself, then love others. When you love you others will too!
Ladies until next time – Break some rules, find your passion and live YOUR life!
xoxo
